Hangovers are the worst part of drinking, and people who enjoy alcohol are always looking for ways to combat them. Everyone seems to have a "remedy" that doesn't quite work. (I usually just try to sleep through mine.)

Oddly, my hangovers aren't as bad as they used to be. I get them, but they're mild, they're usually gone by around 1 p.m., and, while I'm not sure why they have started to decline in severity, I suspect it has something to do with my body deciding to just give up and adjust to the lifestyle it is subjected to.


While my hangovers have lessened in severity, I'd still like to eradicate them completely, or at least lessen them even further. So, when the nice people at Never Too Hungover ($23.99 for a pack of six on Amazon) offered me a free sample of their product, I was like "Yes, OK, sure."

The shot is a "healthy vitamin blend" with no sugar or caffeine. For optimum results, you should take Never Too Hungover before or during drinking. One vial is supposed to take care of the effects of seven drinks, and it is recommended that you do not exceed three vials in a 24 hour period.

I planned to test the product on a Friday evening that I knew would feature a good bit of alcohol. I had dinner plans at the Nodoguro, and planned to do the drink pairing, because one should always do the drink pairing.

I grabbed a little bottle of Never Too Hungover and opened it. It fizzed slightly, and I immediately noticed the smell of B vitamins, which made sense, because B vitamins are supposed to be good for this kind of thing. The liquid inside the little bottle was green and super sweet, thanks to a bit of food coloring and sucralose. I did not enjoy drinking it, but it was by no means the worst shot I've ever done. (I'm very weird about any liquid that tastes even slightly medicinal. I seriously cannot take liquid medicine without gagging and have to have everything in pill form.)

Maybe my childlike naïveté is to blame, but I was cautiously excited about this product. The reviews on Amazon are very good, so I was pumped to put the stuff through a Typical Friday Night with Claire. Here is how it went down:

  • One glass of cava and three glasses of sake with a fantastic multi-course dinner. This type of drinking never seems like "real drinking" as it is very fancy and paired with food. You're "enhancing the experience of the meal" not simply "drinking."
  • One small glass of tempranillo at Pied Cow, while discussing the merits/drawbacks of sending topless pics that do not include your face or any distinguishing marks. (Sub-question: Does that mean you can send just anyone's boobs?)
  • A Choco Taco. This is not alcohol, but I love Choco Tacos, and the two women I was with had never had one, so we went on a quest to find them. We found them. We ate them. There was much rejoicing.
  • Three cocktails at Double Dragon. One was something the bartender had made up, one was a martini, and one was some sort of amaro with soda. I do not remember which amaro.

The press release had said that one bottle could tackle up to seven drinks, so I had seven. (Actually, this was not intentional; it just worked out that way.) I also had my usual amount of water, a.k.a. "some, but probably not enough."

When I awoke on Saturday morning, I was hungover the usual amount, maybe slightly less than I deserved, but definitely hungover. I stayed in bed for a long time, disappointed that I had not found a magical antidote that would allow me to never feel the ill-effects of my stupid lifestyle. I was also starving.

I went and got a bowl of ramen with a soft-cooked egg and a couple of Diet Cokes. After that, I didn't really feel hungover anymore. Though I am used to fairly short hangovers, this one seemed even shorter, though I definitely cannot claim that I was "never too hungover" because I honestly felt terrible when I woke up that morning. Oh well.

I will say this: Though it's boring, it would seem that the best way to not get hungover is still "don't drink so much, a--hole."

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